It’s 4 AM and I’m Awake: Maybe It’s a Gift

Do you ever wake up hours before dawn and can’t get back to sleep? Your body is tired but your mind is alert, buzzing with plans, ideas, challenges … everything!  Luckily, I never have that problem — just kidding. 

Today was one of those mornings. I was awake at 4:00 a.m. and my mind was a whir of random thoughts and pressing issues. At one time, this temporary insomnia used to frustrate me to no end, which only exasperated the problem. I was frustrated and grumbling so loud to the point of waking up my wife. 

What are my solutions? Truthfully, waking up my wife has a bit of a hidden motive, because she is very soothing and will sometimes take us through a meditative exercise that helps us get back to sleep. (I finally realized this isn’t fair to her, so I rarely use it anymore.) Another option for getting back to sleep is to practice a self-meditation repeating a phrase such as let go, let God (or simply, let go or some version) while slowly breathing in and out. It relaxes the mind and muscles. When we let go, it prevents us from ruminating on those things that we simply have no control over.

When Meditations Don’t Work

However, there are times when even a relaxing mantra doesn’t work. On those nights, rather than just thrash around in bed (which seems pointless), I have found that getting up and heading downstairs to my home office is a better option. There, I either complete some of the work that’s bouncing around my brain, or read. This newly adopted behavior has proved surprisingly beneficial.

I recently read that, perhaps, what we consider an annoyance is our soul or inner voice waking us up to solve a problem, or work on a strategy that we’re wrestling with (consciously or subconsciously). This understanding has allowed a shifting view of waking in the middle of the night as more of an inspiration than an irritation. 

The benefit has been two-fold. First of all, I seem to be waking up a lot less frequently, or at least waking and quickly settling back to sleep. When I can’t lull myself back to sleep quickly (under 30 minutes), then it’s time to get up and address whatever is on my mind.

This doesn’t mean answering e-mail, as it’s not a deep-thinking exercise. Rather, use this unique bonus of time for inspiration and insight, not for clearing away piles of unresolved busyness. Using this awake time for cleaning up and organizing can relieve stress, but only if clutter is the cause of the restlessness. However, even then, first try to uncover a problem or strategy that needs working on. Something that’s within your control or ability to influence.

The other benefit of the 4 a.m. wakeup call is when we reflect through journaling, we frequently have insights. These insights are usually small, more clarification than brilliance. But it is the process of writing and putting our thoughts on paper that evokes mindfulness and reduces the stress that may be present when we have trouble falling back to sleep. And, on rare occasions we receive true gifts.

A Tangible Insight at 4 AM

Remember 2008? The huge upheaval in the stock market? One of my most dramatic — and tangible — insights occurred one morning while journaling. Sitting there quietly, a distinct thought percolated to pull all my money out of the market, before the drop and subsequent recession. While communicating this decision with my financial advisor, I actually had to argue with him! He thought it was unnecessary and foolish to turn my funds into cash. After much wrangling, we conceded to leave the 401K and self-funded pension in his hands (upon his insistence), pulling out the majority of my estate and converting it to cash. 

Spreading the cash around into several banks to cover the FDIC insurance limit, we also paid down more of our mortgage. From this safe position, we watched the market plunge from a Dow Jones high of approximately 16K to a low of 6K. Then in the spring of 2009, we got back into the market by following the adage buy low, sell high. 

In hindsight, I was right, and my broker was wrong (although he was hardly alone in his thinking), as the 401K and pension were pummeled. Fortunately, from this early morning moment of insight, I was able to preserve most of my assets and pay down more of our mortgage. This was especially beneficial since I had bought my condo at the height of the real estate market and subsequently found my equity upside down when real estate values dropped significantly.

Bottom line? Most nights, I sleep well simply by remembering to let go and let God. But occasionally when struggling with restlessness, a viable option is to head downstairs for some reading, writing, and reflecting. And sometimes, we can even have a moment of grace and insight that is quite literally money in the bank.